In today’s media-obsessed world, the modern heroes are those who have the most tabloid inches devoted to them – and this doesn’t mean politicians or philanthropists. We’re talking about the Kardashians, the Hilton sisters, the tween pop stars – people who are more famous for what they’re wearing than what they’ve done. Reality television shows flood every channel as the voyeuristic nation demands to see the most intimate nitty-gritty details of celebrity life. Shows like American Idol and The Voice give those lucky few a chance to propel themselves from the depths of anonymity to the heights of super-stardom. Instant celebrity: it’s an intoxicating prospect. Yet not all of us are lucky enough to be gifted with a set of vocal pipes impressive enough to impress Simon Cowell. Instead, we have to come up with other ways and means to make other people believe that we too are part of that exclusive celebrity club. Fortunately for you, the only entry ticket you’ll need is a handy pair of discount designer sunglasses.
That’s right – genuine high end designer shades, with the quality and luxury style you’d expect from a world-famous designer – for a price that won’t force you to take out a second mortgage!
The Top Four Ways To Fool People Into Thinking You’re A Celebrity (With The Help Of Your Designer Sunglasses)
1. Wear Your Designer Sunglasses In Bed.
This means that you’ll not only continue to impress whoever you woke up next to, but it has the added bonus of hiding your puffy morning face too. If you’re alone, it’s clear that the sunglasses were doing their job last night – everyone was too intimidated to even approach you.
2. Wear Your Designer Sunglasses While Going Grocery Shopping
Not only do you not have to bother applying eye make-up, but everyone will automatically assume that you’re famous. After all, what normal person would wear sunglasses up and down the aisle at Walgreen’s? Clearly, you’re a celebrity who wishes to avoid nosy paparazzi sneaking a camera lens into the contents of their cart.
3. Wear Your Designer Sunglasses And Talk On Your Cellphone
It’s best if you can powerwalk and drag a small dog on a leash behind you while doing this. Nothing says “movie star” like charging down a sidewalk with a Pomeranian trotting behind you, while you jabber furiously into your cell. Observers don’t have to know that it’s just your mom, and not a top Hollywood executive on the other end of the line, do they? If “reality TV star” is more your style, make it a Chihuahua inside a purse.
4. Wear Your Designer Sunglasses And Walk Near A Large Man
All celebrities today have bodyguards. Even that girl who had a walk on part in Season 2, Episode 4 of The Real World has one (you might recall her for her stunning delivery of the line “Let me take your coat, sir”). However, bodyguards are unfortunately rather expensive. This is why you should hang out near weight gyms and stalk any bulky, muscular men who come out and walk in the direction where you’re headed. If anyone asks why your bodyguard is wearing a sweaty tank top and shorts, just reply:
“His suit is at the dry cleaners”.
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